TREATING AFFAIRS AND TRAUMA

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Affair Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Group Therapy: Healing after an affair is not about simply moving forward or deciding whether to stay together. Infidelity often creates a deep attachment injury that affects emotional safety, trust, and the nervous system for both partners. This group is designed to help couples understand what has happened, stabilize the emotional impact, and begin a thoughtful repair process within a supportive and structured environment. This is a trauma-informed, attachment-based group that balances learning with guided emotional processing.

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Learning and Understanding​

Roughly half of each session focuses on education. Many couples feel overwhelmed or confused after an affair and struggle to make sense of their reactions or their partner’s behavior. Learning provides clarity, language, and a shared framework that reduces self blame and emotional escalation.

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Topics often include betrayal trauma and how it affects the nervous system, why infidelity is experienced as an attachment injury, emotional flooding, shutdown, and hypervigilance, shame and accountability, common patterns couples fall into after betrayal, what trust repair actually involves, and why healing does not happen in a straight line. This portion of the group draws from well established relationship and attachment research, including work from The Gottman Institute and Sue Johnson literature.

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Processing and Integration

The second half of each session is devoted to helping couples integrate what they have learned. This is not unstructured sharing or detailed disclosure. All processing is therapist-guided and focused on emotional meaning rather than graphic information.​ Couples are supported in reflecting on how the material applies to their relationship, naming emotional reactions in a regulated way, practicing new communication skills, and learning how to stay present without becoming overwhelmed. Hearing from other couples often reduces isolation and helps normalize the recovery process. The goal of this portion is connection and repair, not retraumatization.

 

What Couples Often Notice

Many couples experience relief when they begin to understand that their reactions make sense given what they have been through. It is common to notice emotional ups and downs, especially early in the process. Increased awareness sometimes comes before increased comfort. Over time, many couples report fewer escalations at home, clearer communication, and a gradual shift from survival mode into intentional repair. Progress is typically uneven, and that is expected. This group is designed to support that reality rather than rush it.

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Who This Group Is For

This group is designed for couples recovering from infidelity or betrayal who want structure, guidance, and support. Both partners attend together and participate side by side.

 

The group is couples only. Each betrayed partner attends with their partner and each involved partner remains accountable within their own relationship. This structure helps protect emotional safety and prevents anyone from feeling isolated, blamed, or outnumbered. In some cases, future groups or brief breakout exercises may be offered for specific roles, but the core group remains coupled together.

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Emotional Safety and Boundaries

Clear agreements are in place to protect the group. There is no graphic sharing of affair details. Conversations are facilitated and paced carefully. Confidentiality and respectful listening are essential. This group is not about punishment or assigning blame. It is about understanding what happened, taking responsibility where needed, and creating the conditions for repair.

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Considering the Group

If you are unsure whether this group is the right fit or whether the timing is appropriate, a brief consultation can help clarify readiness and expectations.